Sunday, November 2, 2014

What "TYPE" am I?

Sometimes I align left.
Sometimes I align right.
     Sometimes I indent.
Then again, I like to be in the center.
Sometimes I justify.

I feel like my life is a little like that too.  

Sometimes I've aligned myself a little too far to the left.  Well, for the past few years anyway.  I didn't really mean to. After my parents died, I realized that I didn't know what was left and what was right. I didn't question, wasn't allowed to question and therefore, didn't know what was right.  Well, I guess I really knew but for the first time in my life, I allowed myself to question.  In doing so, I almost went too far to the left.  God has a way of drawing us back to Himself.  I wasn't too far to the left anyway. People thought I was.  God never thought I was lost. 

Sometimes I've aligned myself a little too far to the right.  
Not that truth is not truth.
It's just that sometimes, as right-wingers we think we are always right.
I admit that I am sometimes too judgmental and critical,
when others do it wrong.
Lord, help me remember that you give grace.
Let me be a grace giver. 

     Sometimes I indent.  You know, I take a few steps in, not completely to the left but not completely to the right.  I don't like it, but I straddle the fence, won't commit, afraid to jump all the way in.  I don't like the verse, "Because you are neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth."  This scares me to death! 

The center...
Do I like to be the center of attention?
Do I think I'm the center of every conversation, every eye, every judgement?
Does it always have to be about me?
Is Christ the center of my attention?
If so, then why am afraid of being insignificant?
Why am I paranoid?
Lord, please be the center of my life?
I don't do a very good job of being my own center.

When I know I'm not right, I sometimes justify.  It's okay because.... It doesn't matter if.... It's not wrong when...'s whatever we try to excuse, give reason for, have to convince ourselves and everyone else, or YES, justify.

It's easy to say, "I have Bipolar Disorder when I align myself to the left, right, or center and I try to excuse my behavior or justify how I've reacted or what I've said.  

So, Lord, help me to live the TYPE of life that you have created and chosen me for and called me to.



  1. Wow - Bonnie, you are so talented! This should be in a devotion book or published somewhere! I can relate to all those things.

  2. I am just now catching up on posts from this weekend...this is a doozie! I love the way you related the typing thing to your personal very good. I agree with need to publish it in a book :)

  3. What type are you? Just the right type you need to be when the occasion calls for it. Thank you for sharing your insights and this very clever introspection. Ann