Monday, June 30, 2014

I Don't Think I Can Do This

Strong, one day.
Weak, the next.

Thinking I can move mountains, one day.
And in the valley, the next day.

Oh, my heart is so heavy.  
My little lady is failing.
I don't know if I can do this.

It reminds me too much of my mama. 
My strong mama reduced to having to be fed, 
clothed, bathed, and changed like a baby.

Today I had to do this again. 
I don't know if I can do this.

I cried all the way home.
I don't know if I can do this.

I feel like I'm reliving my mama's sickness.
I don't know if I can do this. 

My heart is beating fast 
and my hands are shaking from fear.
I don't know if I can do this. 

I don't think I can do this. 

Before, strong, happy, smiling.

After, weak, but still with a smile.
She never complained.

Feeling sad today.
Just one of the down days. 



  1. You can do this! Day by day, even minute by minute, one step at a time, with Jesus by your side. We have hope and the promise of heaven. You will miss her, but you'll see her again. However, it's ok to be sad. You wouldn't be normal if you weren't.

  2. Hi Bonnie,
    I agree with Mari. You can do this. Use the experience with your Mama to be the strong one for this lady's family. I am praying for you.

  3. All of the above :) Sending love & prayers.

  4. Awww, Bonnie. I'm sending a hug your way right now. Love you!