Thursday, June 12, 2014

When You're Up You're Up and When You're Down You're Down

When You're Up You're Up, and When You're Down You're Down

I am an out-there kind of person, a what-you-see-is-what-you-get kind of gal.  This at times hasn't always been a good thing, nevertheless, I am REAL.

My mama was a fun person.  She sang silly songs to us all the time.  As a pastor's wife and children's director of Sunday School, she taught us songs that most people had never heard of nor since have I heard again.

When  you're up, you're up,
And when you're down, you're down,
But when you're only half-way up,
You're neither up nor down.

I wish you could hear me now..

It was one of those fun songs where you stood up and down and half-way up and down:)

And there was another song..

I'm in, right out, right up, right down
Right happy all the time.
I'm in, right out, right up, right down
Right happy all the time.

Since Jesus Christ came in
And cleansed my heart from sin,
I'm in, right out, right up, right down
Right happy all the time:)

Well, long story short, I wasn't happy all the time.  I was a "when you're up, you're up and when you're down your down!" 

I can remember my first trip to the "doctor" (psychologist) to find out "what is wrong."  I was 9 years old.  My life was lived on an emotional roller coaster that I will share more with you in future posts.  After many, many years of antidepressants, counseling, medications for panic attacks, job changes, etc., etc., etc., I finally crashed.  My medical doctor shook his head and said, "Bonnie, I don't know what to do with you."  He took me off my blood pressure medicine, antidepressant, antianxiety medication-BAM!  Cold Turkey! And I hit rock bottom.  I was physically ill...could not pull myself out of bed.  Throwing up sick, dizzy, chest pains, as an addict or alchoholic in detox. 

That was a Friday and I endured the weekend with my husband taking me to a different doctor on Monday.  I was put back on my medication and told to take the week off and wait for him to get me an appointment with yet another "doctor."  The dreaded...."shrink."

This was the turning point in my life-a good one!  I was diagnosed with Bi-polar depression Type II.  Can you believe I was grateful to find something-anything that made sense.  I had lived up and down with more downs than ups.  Oh, the ups were WONDERFUL, but I always knew I'd crash. 

It took six months to give the medication right.  I ask God for healing.  I believed for healing.  I believe in the power of the resurrection and the power of God to heal, but I also know that God gives wisdom to doctors.  For that I am grateful. 

Eight years later, I am normal.  Well, almost...hehehe!  There are still times when I know that something is going on. When I've pushed myself too much, tried to please people, and have not taken care of myself, I can go there in spite of myself.  This has been one of those weeks.

So, I read your posts and find my happy place, and lean hard on Jesus, and enjoy your wonderful creativity and surround myself with all the things I love.... like some of these!
 Don't you just love a sale!

A sweet, little corner when we had Cornerstone.

Memories from my teenager years of the 70's:)  (They weren't all so bad!)

Happy Father's Day to a great Dad, 
my son, Chad.

I'm so proud of him.

A good husband too.

He saw it modeled every day from this man, 
his daddy, my husband. 

So thankful, that my days are more up now than down.  I've learned how to pace myself and thank God for the precious gifts that I am blessed with.

You, my friends, are included in that blessing. 


  1. And you my friend are one of my blessings!
    It's hard to imagine you were dealing with this even when you were 9. I'm thankful you have more ups than downs now, and I'm also thankful for all the blessings you have in your life!

  2. You are a treasure Bonnie, and you need to know that. I am so glad we have become life long friends through Blogging and the exchanges. Love ya..Blessings

  3. I am late getting around to all of my blog reading of those days away from home! Anyway...I remember my mother singing the first song to me when I was little...and the second one, I not only sang, but taught to primary age kids in church! :) LOVE them both!

    I'm grateful that you have a doctor who truly understands...and I believe with all my heart that God gives us doctors for a reason!

    Love and hugs,